Elmer's Brother

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2008/1/25

Top 15

@ 10:03 AM (5 months, 15 days ago)

top 15 reasons to convert to radical Islam

15. You get to decide what size stick to beat your wife with

14. you'll  have the right to practice any religion you want as long as it is Islam

13. you no longer have to get the comics in your Sunday newspaper

12. you can create an amputation friendly criminal justice system

11. You can ask your wife if the bomb vest makes your butt look big

10. you can go to the strip club where there is full facial nudity

9. Your mother says you can have your brothers room after he blows himself up

8. You don't care if your wife is happy

7. you occassionally like to dress in a pink frilly burka

6. you never have to say you're sorry

5. your high school yearbook proclaimed you most likely to start a jihad

4. gasoline is cheap and so are the goats

3. you can send your wife a card that says "jihad me at hello"

2. you can start a suicide hotline.....in elementary school

1. divorce divorce divorce

Comments are open to other suggestions - Feel free

Comment(s) »

  1. you can post a driveway sign that reads

    "Don't even think about parking here" in Pashto

    the saying "your mother wears combat boots" is true

    you never liked pigs and monkeys anyway

    you love that new car smell

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/25 @ 10:10 AM — (Reply)

  2. You can kill all you want ...the more collateral damage the better

    Islam means never having to say "don't hate me!"


    You turn in cigarettes for minarets so it's healthier


    A muslim woman never has to have a bad hair day

    You never have a hangover

    You don't have to spend time worrying about names for your kids..Mohammed will work just fine (again)

    you can kill 3000 innocent people and suddenly start calling the shots in their own country








    Comment by Z— 2008/01/25 @ 06:29 PM — (Reply)

  3. that's the spirit z

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/26 @ 02:08 AM — (Reply)

  4. You never have to shave before work again.

    You get to wear your pajamas all day long.

    You can kill your teenagers when they don't do what you say... Well, at least the girl teens.

    Comment by Brooke— 2008/01/25 @ 10:22 AM — (Reply)

  5. those are great brooke

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/25 @ 10:23 AM — (Reply)

  6. car salesmen love you

    you never liked zarqawi anyway but his nikes were the bomb

    you found the sword of saladin in a cracker jack box

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/25 @ 10:49 AM — (Reply)

  7. you can start a tv show and if it bombs - that's a good thing

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/25 @ 10:50 AM — (Reply)

  8. Your house can reek of goat

    the neighbor will comes over and asks to borrow a cup of sand

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/25 @ 10:51 AM — (Reply)

  9. you can play the jihadi price is right

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/25 @ 10:54 AM — (Reply)

  10. the Jizya tax - yeah baby

    your wife looks good with two black eyes



    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/25 @ 10:58 AM — (Reply)

  11. Your kids will never ask you for a puppy.

    If you're a chick you don't have to worry about dating; Dad tells you who to marry and you do it... Or else.

    There's a sky brothel with your name one it.

    Comment by Brooke— 2008/01/25 @ 12:52 PM — (Reply)

  12. One wife to do the cooking, one wife to do the cleaning, ect.; no one gets over worked.

    Comment by Brooke— 2008/01/25 @ 12:54 PM — (Reply)

  13. just worked over

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/25 @ 01:46 PM — (Reply)

  14. No concept of personal responsibility.

    Comment by Ron Paul— 2008/01/25 @ 02:49 PM — (Reply)

  15. No guilt about saying anything and everything, truth and reality be damned. Hey, has Hillary already switched?

    Comment by Ron Paul— 2008/01/25 @ 02:50 PM — (Reply)

  16. you NEVER, ever have to learn how to LAND a plane!

    Comment by nanc— 2008/01/25 @ 02:54 PM — (Reply)

  17. or learn how to "TAKE OFF" ...let someone else do it for you ...

    Comment by aza spade— 2008/01/25 @ 04:18 PM — (Reply)

  18. Who you trying to convince, Osama? Like you always like to ask me - How has anyone connected to radical Islam personally effected you, your life, your security or your well being? The only thing they have effected are all your freedoms that have been taken away.

    Vote Ron Paul and end the boogeyman show.

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/25 @ 03:53 PM — (Reply)

  19. how about just 3

    there was my little trip to Iraq
    and the loss of two of my friends there

    is that enough for you Duggie or do you want more

    really dugg you shouldn't ask questions you don't know the answer to

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/25 @ 04:31 PM — (Reply)

  20. You and your friends should never have been there. You should be mad as hell at the lying war.

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/26 @ 06:12 PM — (Reply)

  21. I never claimed to win any spelling bees. But I do at least make a living off of writing with my spellcheck. Go ahead and make fun.
    Just giving your own question back to you, Elmer, that you like to use to show indifference to the loss of our liberties.

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/26 @ 06:18 PM — (Reply)

  22. The average person/non veteran would have to answer zero, nada, never once AFFECTED me in the slightest. They're just being ignorant sheople. bahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/26 @ 06:21 PM — (Reply)

  23. Better chance of being struck by lightning. Your being manipulated by fear into giving away your rights and fighting wars.
    Killer Bees may come - we better give away our right to bare arms!
    Dumbasses.

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/26 @ 06:24 PM — (Reply)

  24. Excuse me - I know you guys are touchy - I strike the dumbass.

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/26 @ 06:26 PM — (Reply)

  25. the difference is dugg that you haven't lost any of your liberties but we have been affected by Osama bin Laden

    catch the difference dugg?

    Comment by elmers brother— 2008/01/26 @ 06:39 PM — (Reply)

  26. http://www.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUSL2650359520080126?feedType=RSS&feedName=worldNews&rpc=22&sp=true

    How's about this stuff coming here? THAT would effect us, huh?

    Comment by z— 2008/01/26 @ 05:02 PM — (Reply)

  27. That would be "affected" sport.

    Comment by Ron Paul— 2008/01/25 @ 04:27 PM — (Reply)

  28. AFFECT. DARN! You're right..and I copied him...thanks!

    could you give me a simple and fast rule for that?!! seriously

    Comment by z— 2008/01/26 @ 05:03 PM — (Reply)

  29. "effect" is generally a noun. The effects of alzheimer's show in Ron Paul's speech. Alzheimer's affects Ron Paul's thinking. Think twice before you copy any of THAT material.

    Ed

    Comment by Ed— 2008/01/26 @ 05:07 PM — (Reply)

  30. Thanks, Ed. And you're right...I haven't been exposed to dugg too much as I don't get a chance to come here often....who knew? OKAY: I will not suffer the affects of him again? (right?!)

    Comment by z— 2008/01/27 @ 09:36 AM — (Reply)

  31. Close Z. Remember "effect" is a noun in general and "affect" is a verb in general, so please try that sentence again.

    Ed

    Comment by Ed— 2008/01/27 @ 10:11 AM — (Reply)

  32. thanks. I'm hopeless. I have to ask my German born husband for English grammar. argh!!

    Thanks...your advice, and his, is very effective..but I think I'll go back to thinking of other ways to say the same thing. And I speak 2 other languages !! Picture that!? (maybe better than English!?..apparently so)

    Comment by z— 2008/01/27 @ 04:45 PM — (Reply)

  33. Hey Z that looks GREAT !!!!!

    BG

    Comment by Barry G.— 2008/01/27 @ 04:56 PM — (Reply)

  34. You gave 15 reasons but all they are thinking about 72 options!!!

    Comment by The Frank Family— 2008/01/25 @ 05:43 PM — (Reply)

  35. Another reason......pedophilia is not a crime.

    check out my new site EB.....and everyone else as well.

    Comment by Joe Gringo— 2008/01/26 @ 05:38 AM — (Reply)

  36. btw......those were all very funny.

    Comment by Joe Gringo— 2008/01/26 @ 05:42 AM — (Reply)

  37. dugg-dugg-dugg...

    how about three hour waits at airports?

    the talk of a national i.d.?

    footwash basins in the strangest of places?

    five calls to prayer in others?

    those asshats are affecting more than you can even imagine. not to mention the saudis have been endowing our larger universities for over twenty years in order to get their m.e. studies into them - how soon before it becomes "required" general ed curriculum?

    somebody call the jaws of life to remove dugg's head from his hiney - it must be stifling in there!

    Comment by nanc— 2008/01/26 @ 06:38 AM — (Reply)

  38. but nanc it's all part of the Illuminati's plan to take over the world and create a New World Order

    Comment by — 2008/01/26 @ 06:48 AM — (Reply)

  39. Oh, hahahahah golf clap. You all are so witty. If this was a movie - I'd be part of Delta House - you guys would all be snobby Omega's - kissing each others asses and being wrong about everything.

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/27 @ 03:48 AM — (Reply)

  40. oh yeah dugg we're the ones who are nuts (rolls eyes)

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 04:33 AM — (Reply)

  41. how about that they have watches now that can BEEP you into prayer five times a day? ANy reason to have calls to prayer in MICHIGAN in the 21 century?
    And, how the heck did they pray without foot washing basins BEFORE 9/11?
    Why the heck is it only NOW that they can demand they don't have to touch pork as a butcher or take a fare with a bottle of wine or dog in a taxi? (that'll all fall under the same 'rule' that a pharmacist who doesn't dispense morning after pills to kill babies has to be fired while the muslim who doesn't want to touch pork can just cut chicken, right?)
    "what do you have to do to get respect aruond this country, kill 3000 people?"

    Apparently, yes.

    Comment by Z— 2008/01/26 @ 09:02 AM — (Reply)

  42. You're a racist z.

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/27 @ 03:51 AM — (Reply)

  43. Islam is not a race...and your vehement belief that the Jews are behind the media etc is hardly an honest criticism of anything especially when it comes to racism

    which is what Z is saying....how can the radical Islamists be afforded privileges and accomodations that non Muslims are not afforded? It's fairness Z is talking about.

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 04:32 AM — (Reply)

  44. You could say that jew was not a race but a religion - particularly since anyone could convert to judaism and be considered a jew. Does that mean their are no anti-semite's?

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/27 @ 04:56 AM — (Reply)

  45. Hey if you wish to criticize policies that you think are unfairly biased toward Israel or Israel as a country no ones going to stop you...that's an honest debate

    but

    the Protocols and Replacement Theology are basis for anti Semitism and hatred for the Jews

    I'm just very shocked that you would align yourself with those like David Duke and Stormfront who use those basis to do more than have an honest debate

    and you have given me no Biblical basis for your philosophy

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 05:01 AM — (Reply)

  46. but it's also pushiness I'm talking about, kind of forcing a hand against us..and irony...why ARE these things only coming forward since 9/11? why NOW and never before? I find that odd.

    Comment by z— 2008/01/27 @ 10:05 AM — (Reply)

  47. you're a dope, dugg. Did you read my post? Any thought to any truth there? "i'm a racist?" I have muslim acquaintances who agree with what I said...funny you'd see racism there, isn't it?

    Comment by z— 2008/01/27 @ 09:32 AM — (Reply)

  48. yeah, because we know how izlam bows to the illuminati...

    Comment by nanc— 2008/01/26 @ 07:33 AM — (Reply)

  49. I'll clue all you brainwashed sheople in one more time. We funded Osama and built him up to fight against Russia(same as we funded Saddam). He is a CIA operative. Most of the people claimed to be hijakers on 911 are all still alive. The attack on WTC in 1993 was proven at the time to have been coordinated by the FBI using their dupes and false flag lackeys.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7n76g57X4hM
    To tell me I need my head out of my ass is the pot calling the kettle black, Nanc. You are ignorant of the truth and a fake patriot wrapped in a flag.

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/27 @ 03:58 AM — (Reply)

  50. sure we supported those who fought against the Soviet Union..this is the problem with you dugg...you rarely put things in historical context and everything revolves around your Elders of Zion pretext that there is a vast conspiracy

    I guess in Dugg's world we should have supported the communists

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 04:36 AM — (Reply)

  51. Maybe it does, smarty pants -
    http://www.rense.com/general80/signn.htm

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/27 @ 04:13 AM — (Reply)

  52. How about we follow the constitution and just worry about ourselves, Elmer? You just can't get away from the propaganda mindset, can ya? The communist movement is just another wing of the same bird - playing off one another to further the agenda.

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/27 @ 04:45 AM — (Reply)

  53. I'll remember to tell that to the 100 million Stalin killed

    no compassion for the rest of the world Dugg?

    wow sad

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 04:46 AM — (Reply)

  54. that's the Christian thing to do isn't Dugg? Ignore the rest of the worlds suffering because...well you know...the Constitution trumps the Bible

    you're good Dugg...real good

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 04:48 AM — (Reply)

  55. Hey, Elmer, if a muslim nation felt it was the good muslim thing to go to any country they wanted and force their will on anyone they deemed in need of it - would that be okay with you?

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/27 @ 04:55 AM — (Reply)

  56. It seems to more perfectly fine with the French Dugg.

    Ed

    Comment by Ed— 2008/01/27 @ 04:56 AM — (Reply)

  57. This comment made me burst out laughing!
    Except I moved back from four years in Paris five years ago and see them finally waking up BIG TIME. i wish WE would, but with so many people who think like dugg, we're probably lost.

    Comment by z— 2008/01/27 @ 10:04 AM — (Reply)

  58. Unfortunately for the French Z, if they are waking up, it is way too late. The muslims in France are breeding like rabbits.

    Comment by Ron Paul— 2008/01/27 @ 10:15 AM — (Reply)

  59. dugg our country is a secular one not a Christian one so your comment is false on its premise

    radical Islamists including Bin Laden wish to establish an Islamic Caliphate where Sharia law trumps our Constitution

    and I expected someone with such a high IQ as yours to understand the difference

    I guess not

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 10:04 AM — (Reply)

  60. if a muslim nation felt it was the good muslim thing to go to any country they wanted and force their will on anyone they deemed in need of it - would that be okay with you?

    this is already happening dugg where have you been?

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 10:06 AM — (Reply)

  61. http://www.jewwatch.com/jew-leaders-stalin.html

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/27 @ 04:53 AM — (Reply)

  62. clue here dugg

    Stalin distrusted Soviet Jews and used of them as the centerpiece of his purges. Stalin killed, directly and indirectly, millions of people.

    Do you wish to make him a hero now?

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 04:58 AM — (Reply)

  63. hey dugg perhaps a gander at this

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/31 @ 09:04 AM — (Reply)

  64. gander at this i know you was born islam.i knew there was something evil about you.

    Comment by HARRY G.— 2008/02/02 @ 01:36 PM — (Reply)

  65. Name just one unconstitutional thing that has personally happened to you Dugg?

    Comment by Ron Paul— 2008/01/27 @ 04:47 AM — (Reply)

  66. I want the officers badge number, the date you were arrested and I want to know (you haven't told me yet) whether they allow conjugal visits?

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 04:49 AM — (Reply)

  67. My emails and phone and office can be tapped and searched without my knowledge. I wouldn't know if it did happen. When I used to be free and have rights - that couldn't happen. What will be the next incrimental step? 1984 here we come.

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/27 @ 05:00 AM — (Reply)

  68. they could have been tapped anyway if you were part of a syndicate or any other group advocating the overthrow of the government it was called the RICO Act

    now it applies to terrorists as well

    do you have any evidence that this is happening to you now or have you thrown away your phone for fear of them listening in on your conversations?

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 05:03 AM — (Reply)

  69. So what?

    Comment by Ron Paul— 2008/01/27 @ 04:09 AM — (Reply)

  70. So what? You're backing a lie? People are dying for evil bastards? I don't know. If you don't care I guess your following the right lie.

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/27 @ 04:11 AM — (Reply)

  71. Yeah .... SO WHAT ....

    You believe in faiy tales does that make you a fairy?

    Comment by Ron Paul— 2008/01/27 @ 04:14 AM — (Reply)

  72. That link in a bunch of nonsense.

    HOOK 'EM HORNS !!

    D

    Comment by Ron Paul— 2008/01/27 @ 04:22 AM — (Reply)

  73. Hang on there a second EB. I would never (and my fingers aren't crossed) say Dugg is nuts.

    :idea:

    Comment by Ron Paul— 2008/01/27 @ 04:36 AM — (Reply)

  74. :grin:

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 04:37 AM — (Reply)

  75. those girls are the best looking free masons I've ever seen

    I believe I've seen pictures recently of Ron Paul using the same high sign

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 04:38 AM — (Reply)

  76. Surely you are willing to agree that Dugg is not nuts EB.

    Comment by Ron Paul— 2008/01/27 @ 04:38 AM — (Reply)

  77. misguided :?:

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 04:40 AM — (Reply)

  78. inconsistent:?:

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 04:40 AM — (Reply)

  79. Truthful, honest, unafraid, masybe.

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/27 @ 04:49 AM — (Reply)

  80. Have you switched from Mimosas to beer and Jack already Dugg? Your spelling is atrocious.

    Comment by Ron Paul— 2008/01/27 @ 10:13 AM — (Reply)

  81. Ron Paul is from Texas. The Texas Longhorns are from Texas. George W. Bush is from Texas. Hook 'em Horns is the Texas Longhorns motto. Obviously a Freemason conspiracy.

    Comment by Ron Paul— 2008/01/27 @ 04:40 AM — (Reply)

  82. "befuddled"?

    Comment by Ron Paul— 2008/01/27 @ 04:41 AM — (Reply)

  83. obviously we're being surrounded by Longhorn fans

    the horror

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 04:42 AM — (Reply)

  84. Your strawin me. Are we talking about hand signs now?

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/27 @ 04:50 AM — (Reply)

  85. wasn't this supposed hand sign the reason GWB was a free mason?

    it's no straw man you used it before or do you wish to claim NOW that it's not what you meant at all?

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 04:51 AM — (Reply)

  86. and it turned out he wasn't free mason at all...you're just a paragon of truth Dugg

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 04:53 AM — (Reply)

  87. Hand shakes to now hook em horns? Hmmm okay.

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/27 @ 05:01 AM — (Reply)

  88. this was the same sign you showed Bush to be giving while getting on the Presidential helicopter...do you deny it?

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 05:04 AM — (Reply)

  89. Is "can be" the best you can do Dugg? OK, now we have established that your constitutinal rights have not been violated ever. Do you know anyone personally whose constituional rights have been violated?

    Comment by Ron Paul— 2008/01/27 @ 05:02 AM — (Reply)

  90. there would be so many ACLU lawyers on that faster than white on rice

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 05:05 AM — (Reply)

  91. When people vanish forever with no rights they usually don't get to call the aclu.

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/27 @ 05:10 AM — (Reply)

  92. so they call you instead? that's how you know about it?

    lol

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 05:48 AM — (Reply)

  93. Hook em Horns is the LOGICAL answer Dugg. After you telepathically connect with Ron Paul I am sure you will find he agrees.

    Keep me posted please.

    Comment by Ron Paul— 2008/01/27 @ 05:04 AM — (Reply)

  94. Are you engaged in any activities that could be considered RICO violations Dugg?

    Comment by Ron Paul— 2008/01/27 @ 05:05 AM — (Reply)

  95. have you stopped using your phone? I mean if you're really concerned about it I assume you stopped communicating via means that "they" can trace you to

    otherwise I'd say you don't have the courage of your convictions

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/27 @ 05:07 AM — (Reply)

  96. Gotta go for now. Holding a 5 week old baby. One who I pray doesn't have to grow up and fight mcinsane's 100 year war for israel and kill and die for liars.

    see ya.

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/27 @ 05:08 AM — (Reply)

  97. http://www.maannews.net/en/index.php?opr=ShowDetails&ID=27489

    Imagine if this was happening to jews. Oy!

    Comment by Dugg— 2008/01/30 @ 09:12 AM — (Reply)

  98. Imagine the Palestinians taking responsibility for themselves, imagine their leaders using the monies they receive to better their people's lives

    Imagine

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/30 @ 10:38 AM — (Reply)

  99. It's like my friend Beaker said Dugg:

    NBC news had one of the usual sob stories about Gaza on the air. Then it showed families in Egypt
    being reunited due to the opening in the wall. The families were not in a Palestinian refugee camps but in Egypt. The reason is that the overwhelming preponderance of Gaza residents are and have always been Egyptian. The Palestinian rouse has always been a shell game contrived by Commies and their Pan Arabist/Jihadist Allies ( think N ASS er) to make Judenfrei greater Arabia more marketable.

    Of course improving the lives of Gaza residents has never been the goal of this far left lie. The goal was to abuse a group of people as human hockey pucks. Fill them with hate and rage for the Jews and then capatilize on this populist anti-semitic rage to further communism.

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2008/01/30 @ 03:18 PM — (Reply)

  100. Not sure who this comment is for. Silence, I K*LL you

    Comment by Achphlemmed— 2008/02/06 @ 11:44 AM — (Reply)

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