Elmer's Brother

Growing Up....

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1. ah-oh.

   Comment by nanc— 2006/12/25 @ 10:09 AM — (Reply)

2. My wife always says that its a good thing we didn't have a daughter.
   
   She said that I would scare any prospective boyfriends off.
   
   I don't understand, surely any prospective boyfriend would be impressed by my gun collection and shooting skills.

   Comment by Warren— 2006/12/25 @ 10:56 AM — (Reply)

3. Warren when my oldest took her fiance over to my brothers house for a family birthday party (I was out of town), my brother showed up at the door with a shotgun, my other brother and brother in law snuck in behind him and then they locked him in a closet.
   
   Needless to say he's a tough cookie...he still wants to marry her.

   Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/25 @ 02:45 PM — (Reply)

4. Warren,
   My father didn't scare off any of my boyfriends, but they watched their p's and q's.

   Comment by Always On Watch— 2006/12/27 @ 04:17 AM — (Reply)

5. I've got twins - you're talking my worst nightmare.

   Comment by Dugg— 2006/12/25 @ 11:13 AM — (Reply)

6. my oldest is getting married early 2007 dugg....I'm not losing a daughter...I'm gaining an office

   Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/25 @ 12:18 PM — (Reply)

7. we've been laughing over this - evan is just 14 and has a little "boyfriend" and we asked her if he's ever tried to hold her hand - she say, "yuck! if he ever does, i'll break his fingers!" so i guess we have a couple more years of relative peace in the b.f. department.

   Comment by nanc— 2006/12/25 @ 12:35 PM — (Reply)

8. Well, I can't speak to raising girls but I subscribe to the "bung" method of raising boys.
   
   You put them in a barrel and feed them through the bung hole. When they turn 18, you drive in the bung!
   
   EB, either your daughters Fiance is smitten or hes a glutton for punishment!
   
   My father in law talked his nephew into thumping me.
   
   Warren untouched, nephew unconscious. ;^)
   
   

   Comment by Warren— 2006/12/25 @ 03:48 PM — (Reply)

9. Do you think 2 shotguns, 2 handguns and some rifles will be a deterent?
   Too late on the kiss, but anything more...can I call on you guys to put whoever through the wringer? My son will help!
   I will take the high road and shoot any friends!
   
   tmw
   waste

   Comment by the merry widow— 2006/12/25 @ 04:03 PM — (Reply)

10. tmw those are weapons of mass instruction

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/26 @ 11:38 AM — (Reply)

11. I don't know what to say except...Merry Christmas!

    Comment by Rosemary— 2006/12/25 @ 05:33 PM — (Reply)

12. that's just fine Rosemary...
    
    tmw....my boot is a deterrent in my house along with the threat of sleeping outside
    
    warren...if he can survive my family he must be smitten...did the nephew recover?
    
    nanc...we've taught our kids that every date is a potential mate so they better think twice before they bring them home

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/25 @ 07:16 PM — (Reply)

13. "did the nephew recover?"
    
    Although I thought there might be brain damage, I was assured that he was acting "normally".

    Comment by — 2006/12/26 @ 01:54 AM — (Reply)

14. ROTFLMBO at this whole thread! Ya’ll are hysterical
    
    Cupid has been taking aim in my house as well:
    
    My just-turned-6 year old refers to a little girl in his Sunday school as “my girlfriend Jenny". He hugs and kisses her everytime he sees her, much to her chagrin, since he still gives sloppy kisses with his mouth open and slimes her face. Yuck!
    
    On Christmas Eve, I sub taught in his class and the chorister had the children singing Christmas songs. Little Jenny was chosen to hold up one of the pictures that went along with the song and she was swaying her hips back and forth and wiggling her tiny heiny to the holiday music. All I could think was this little girl has a bright career ahead of her that involves a pole and a lot of $1 bills. No wonder my son is smitten… this free spirited mini vixen is corrupting my boy!
    
    Of course, I laughed my butt off during the entire singing time. Jenny’s mom probably wouldn’t have been so entertained…
    
    

    Comment by Cate— 2006/12/26 @ 04:07 AM — (Reply)

15. Oh, dear...
    
    I don't look forward to those days...

    Comment by Brooke— 2006/12/26 @ 06:55 AM — (Reply)

16. uh Cate....have you had that "chat" with your son yet?

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/26 @ 07:00 AM — (Reply)

17. R U kidding? He thinks that "shaking your booty" is hysterically funny just because of the word "booty". He doesn't recognize anything going on beyond the taboo use of "potty words"
    
    As for the kissing - well, he doesn't assign any romantic meaning to that either - it's just how he says hello to people he cares about... grandma, grandpa, his cousins, aunts and uncles and Jenny.

    Comment by Cate— 2006/12/26 @ 07:12 AM — (Reply)

18. I am kidding Cate...
    
    I feel the same way about the word "booty". Unless it's calling me.

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/26 @ 07:17 AM — (Reply)

19. sir warren that's funny...it sounds like a post to me

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/26 @ 07:18 AM — (Reply)

20. Did you interview the joker to see whether his views are not too liberal?
    
    What about his golf handicap?

    Comment by Ernie Els— 2006/12/26 @ 11:14 AM — (Reply)

21. I'm afraid during the interview process I did find out he was a Dem...but more along the lines of a Zel Miller...one for which we can live with.

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/26 @ 11:29 AM — (Reply)

22. Is he an Eagles fan?

    Comment by Ernie Els— 2006/12/26 @ 11:36 AM — (Reply)

23. I'm afraid he doesn't play golf Ernie.

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/26 @ 11:37 AM — (Reply)

24. what doesnt play GOLF ?????

    Comment by jim— 2006/12/26 @ 01:45 PM — (Reply)

25. He's more the cerebreal type....a commercial pilot and a licensed airline dispatcher..owns his own condo and just bought a house...quite the catch and I'll get my office

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/26 @ 11:41 AM — (Reply)

26. Uh...EB? I could be wrong and don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think he is interested in you.

    Comment by Barry G.— 2006/12/26 @ 11:53 AM — (Reply)

27. Barry, I didn't realize how that sounded bwahahahaha...
    
    Let's just say when my daughter marries him and they move all of five miles away...I got plans for her bedroom

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/26 @ 02:15 PM — (Reply)

28. Whew...you had me a little nervous there for awhile buddy.

    Comment by Barry G.— 2006/12/26 @ 03:01 PM — (Reply)

29. Sweet 16 and never been kissed. It's good to hear there's some young women who wait. It's not that easy anymore. In my days the girls who did, were ostracized (sp?)... Today, in a post-Clinton world, not so easy.

    Comment by Eyes— 2006/12/26 @ 11:57 AM — (Reply)

30. opportunist!
    
    remind me to call you sometime.

    Comment by nanc— 2006/12/26 @ 12:40 PM — (Reply)

31. o.t. - gerald ford has passed from our midst this day at the age of 93 - the oldest living president and not the joke everyone tried to make of him. Lord, please be with betty and his family.
    
    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061227/ap_on_re_us/obit_ford
    
    

    Comment by nanc— 2006/12/26 @ 06:24 PM — (Reply)

32. just read it nanc

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/26 @ 06:50 PM — (Reply)

33. I waited until I was 16 to start dating. I well remember my first kiss--lousy! A real liver lips. He didn't get a second kiss from me. And a few weeks later, his mother called to find out what was wrong. Now, there's an awkward moment.
    
    I had to go through a slew of lousy kissers until I found a good one. And I've been married to him for nearly 35 years.

    Comment by Always On Watch— 2006/12/27 @ 04:22 AM — (Reply)

34. AoW...sometimes practive makes perfect.

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/27 @ 04:36 AM — (Reply)

35. practice

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/27 @ 05:10 AM — (Reply)

36. Most of those lousy kissers never got married. But I did.

    Comment by Always On Watch— 2006/12/27 @ 03:16 PM — (Reply)

37. No comment.

    Comment by Barry G.— 2006/12/27 @ 03:19 PM — (Reply)

38. how right you are!
    
    o.t. - elbro - check your mail - i sent you a funny...well, and i sent it to everybody else in my addy book also! except for my mother...she likes john kerry...i know...i know...buy them books, send them to school and they drink the koolaid!

    Comment by nanc— 2006/12/27 @ 06:57 AM — (Reply)

39. nevermind...
    
    toddy

    Comment by nanc— 2006/12/27 @ 07:00 AM — (Reply)

40. You're doing good. Most 16-year-olds, boys and girls, have gone a lot further.
    Great line "I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining an office".

    Comment by — 2006/12/27 @ 08:16 AM — (Reply)

41. who was that masked commenter?

    Comment by elmers brother— 2006/12/27 @ 08:50 AM — (Reply)

42. EB: How did Christmas treat you buddy?

    Comment by Barry G.— 2006/12/27 @ 11:35 AM — (Reply)

43. had a good time there Barry...my in laws were in from China....the future son in law was here....I got the Marx Brothers DVD collection I was wanting....overall a very good time
    
    and you?

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/27 @ 12:01 PM — (Reply)

44. Excellent, thanks. All my inlaws were in from somewhat closer.

    Comment by Barry G.— 2006/12/27 @ 01:39 PM — (Reply)

45. sweet story EB!...all I can say is "awwwww!..with u as a role model..she'll do jus fine!..

    Comment by Angel— 2006/12/27 @ 06:14 PM — (Reply)

46. I've added the appropriate music so turn your speakers on.

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/28 @ 02:05 AM — (Reply)

47. Nice one, EB. Is "my office" code for ....you know what?
    I still cringe when I think about my first kissing experience. She sat on her parents sofa, as close as she could get, for more than 2 hours, staring intently at me, breath on my face, sweet smell pervading, warm....while I stared at a late night movie, cheeks burning in embarassment, too afraid to move. Somehow, I don't have a clue how, we finally managed the deed.
    While she is concentrating on "the first kiss", at least she isn't out driving (your insurance premiums higher)!!
    Warren... they should have bunged me at 16!

    Comment by Gravelrash— 2006/12/28 @ 12:56 PM — (Reply)

48. grav that was a sweet story and you're right....her beau can drive her around
    
    it's code for an office

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/28 @ 01:09 PM — (Reply)

49. or did you think it was code for the underground bunker?

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/28 @ 01:21 PM — (Reply)

50. o.t. - did you know that idiots like the poopstain make me long for ordinary trolls like your catarack?!?

    Comment by nanc— 2006/12/28 @ 02:49 PM — (Reply)

51. cataract though tactless was not a criminal

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/28 @ 03:05 PM — (Reply)

52. Tactless? cataract is a jackass.

    Comment by Barry G.— 2006/12/28 @ 03:56 PM — (Reply)

53. Barry, cataract didn't act like a pedophile and make passes at my children like John poopstain did

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/28 @ 04:05 PM — (Reply)

54. Thank God I don't have to deal with that mess! Must be hard for you. Hang in there man....that's all I can say.

    Comment by Florian— 2006/12/28 @ 04:16 PM — (Reply)

55. Flo,
    
    Actually because my oldest daughter is now engaged...I feel a big relief. I feel like a weight has been lifted to be honest.
    
    The younger one kissing....ahh he's an honorable young man..so I don't worry....
    
    
    
    
    
    much

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/28 @ 04:29 PM — (Reply)

56. EB- I can hardly wait to see you with your first grandchild, pure mush!
    Good morning, G*D bless and Maranatha!
    
    tmw
    otiose

    Comment by the merry widow— 2006/12/29 @ 01:47 AM — (Reply)

57. I'm sure the young' un is in great hands.......liked the office comment, ;-)
    
    That reminds me, my first kiss was when I was 6 with our next door neighbor in the side yard next to our orange trees, the second one (next day) was in my bedroom behind my dresser and next to the window......curtain open.......after the quick smooch, there outside the window was my older brother, older sister and......my mom! My older brother tortured me for years with his teasing.....the next one didn't take place until the 8th grade.....aah the memories!

    Comment by Joe Gringo— 2006/12/29 @ 04:38 AM — (Reply)

58. Joe - 6 !!!! well more time for practice I suppose
    
    tmw - don't rush me

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/29 @ 07:02 AM — (Reply)

59. Thanks for your comments regarding the Islamic Thinkers Society and their perverted worldview. Those deleted comments had no connection to John Brown. They were unsuitable but from a completely other source.
    
    Have a Safe and Happy New Year!

    Comment by American Crusader— 2006/12/29 @ 09:09 AM — (Reply)

60. you too AC

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/12/29 @ 09:14 AM — (Reply)

61. Happy New Year EB.

    Comment by Joe Gringo— 2006/12/29 @ 10:40 AM — (Reply)

62. Elmer's Bro, I have two daughters, 4 and 1. You're scaring me here!

    Comment by michael— 2007/01/07 @ 11:13 PM — (Reply)

63. EB: I'm not running. Doesn't mean I have to look forward to my little ones bringing home boys. I remember how I was at that age...

    Comment by michael— 2007/01/08 @ 04:34 AM — (Reply)

64. I should have been clearer...
    It's just scary being a father. You know that, of course. It must be easier with a son; there's only one boy to worry about. With a daughters, we have to worry about our kid, and then about everyone else's son!
    
    Ah well, we'll do OK, I guess.

    Comment by michael— 2007/01/08 @ 08:42 PM — (Reply)

65. my other advice is to remember they ultimately belong to G-d

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2007/01/08 @ 11:01 PM — (Reply)

66. Michael, embrace it don't run away from it.

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2007/01/08 @ 04:24 AM — (Reply)

67. I never meant that you were sorry.
    
    I have seen fathers run away from their teenagers though. Mine still have boundaries and still have chaperones (even my 20 year old who is engaged). Since my oldest one has gotten engaged I have felt a tremendous amount of relief. I don't have to be her father as much as being her dad now. It's really freed me up to enjoy her and this time in her life.

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2007/01/08 @ 04:47 AM — (Reply)

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[ Top level ] #1: nanc on 2006/12/25 01:09 PM#2: Warren on 2006/12/25 01:56 PM#3: Dugg on 2006/12/25 02:13 PM#4: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/25 03:18 PM#5: nanc on 2006/12/25 03:35 PM   #6: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/25 05:45 PM#7: Warren on 2006/12/25 06:48 PM#8: the merry widow on 2006/12/25 07:03 PM#9: Rosemary on 2006/12/25 08:33 PM#10: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/25 10:16 PM#11: on 2006/12/26 04:54 AM#12: Cate on 2006/12/26 07:07 AM#13: Brooke on 2006/12/26 09:55 AM#14: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/26 10:00 AM   #15: Cate on 2006/12/26 10:12 AM#16: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/26 10:17 AM#17: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/26 10:18 AM#18: Ernie Els on 2006/12/26 02:14 PM#19: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/26 02:29 PM#20: Ernie Els on 2006/12/26 02:36 PM#21: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/26 02:37 PM   #22: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/26 02:38 PM#23: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/26 02:41 PM#24: Barry G. on 2006/12/26 02:53 PM#25: Eyes on 2006/12/26 02:57 PM#26: nanc on 2006/12/26 03:40 PM   #27: jim on 2006/12/26 04:45 PM   #28: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/26 05:15 PM      #29: Barry G. on 2006/12/26 06:01 PM#30: nanc on 2006/12/26 09:24 PM#31: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/26 09:50 PM   #32: Always On Watch on 2006/12/27 07:17 AM#33: Always On Watch on 2006/12/27 07:22 AM#34: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/27 07:36 AM#35: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/27 08:10 AM#36: nanc on 2006/12/27 09:57 AM#37: nanc on 2006/12/27 10:00 AM#38: on 2006/12/27 11:16 AM#39: elmers brother on 2006/12/27 11:50 AM#40: Barry G. on 2006/12/27 02:35 PM#41: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/27 03:01 PM   #42: Barry G. on 2006/12/27 04:39 PM   #43: Always On Watch on 2006/12/27 06:16 PM      #44: Barry G. on 2006/12/27 06:19 PM#45: Angel on 2006/12/27 09:14 PM#46: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/28 05:05 AM#47: Gravelrash on 2006/12/28 03:56 PM#48: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/28 04:09 PM#49: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/28 04:21 PM#50: nanc on 2006/12/28 05:49 PM#51: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/28 06:05 PM   #52: Barry G. on 2006/12/28 06:56 PM#53: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/28 07:05 PM#54: Florian on 2006/12/28 07:16 PM#55: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/28 07:29 PM#56: the merry widow on 2006/12/29 04:47 AM#57: Joe Gringo on 2006/12/29 07:38 AM#58: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/29 10:02 AM#59: American Crusader on 2006/12/29 12:09 PM#60: Elmers Brother on 2006/12/29 12:14 PM#61: Joe Gringo on 2006/12/29 01:40 PM#62: michael on 2007/01/08 02:13 AM#63: Elmers Brother on 2007/01/08 07:24 AM   #64: michael on 2007/01/08 07:34 AM#65: Elmers Brother on 2007/01/08 07:47 AM      #66: michael on 2007/01/08 11:42 PM         #67: Elmers Brother on 2007/01/09 02:01 AM — reply to this comment.

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