Pater Familias
I got a job, I got prospects I am bonafide - Oh Brother Where art Thou
(at least I'd like to think so)
Mrs. EB and the Three Reasons I am a Father
I have read a lot of books about being a father. For some reason the children didn't come with owners manuals. I would hazard a guess it's because they belong to God anyway. I think it's easier for women to figure things out when it comes to kids. They'll sit around a coffee table and the hens will start out talking about this and that. Eventually one of them will say "you know what my johnny did the other day..." and the others will chime in with ways to be a good mother in that situation. Men on the other hand we think we can handle these situations. It's unfortunate because we could learn a lot from each other. I have often asked other fathers for answers. (by myself I am not equipped you see)
Name 5 things your father did right.
Name 5 things your father did wrong.
How do you and your wife make decisions about your children?
I've seen grown men break down in tears with the first two, because forcing us to think about our own fathers sometimes makes us realize one of two things. Either my father was right and I was wrong OR my father was so wrong and I am making the same mistakes.
I have failed my children on many occasions. Sometimes I have made my work who I am instead of them, I have valued the praise of co-workers and superiors above my own children. I haven't always made time for them like I should. I could go on beating up on myself all day. (Thank the Lord for my wife and for God) My children are wonderful in spite of me.
My first deployment in the Navy I was gone for three months. Before we got back the Chaplain counseled us on taking our time in re-filling our roles as fathers. My daughter was about 4 at the time. Well it took us a year to get over that deployment and I thought I had ruined her for life. My wife made sure it wasn't a fatal paternal mistake. When it was time to go on those trips the kids would often stand at the window and using sign language sign "I love you"..we still do this today. This is an example of God's grace to me, in spite of me my children can show me the most unconditional acts of love.
Being an intentional father is hard work, may I suggest that it's benefits far outweigh the effort. There is forgiveness for the mistakes I have made and there is the priceless love of my children. I don't deserve the grace that God has shown me in the face of my children, but grace it is.
I love being a dad.
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Dang EB, You've got one good lookin' family:>) Happy Father's Day!
Comment by eyesallaround— 2006/06/18 @ 07:28 AM — (Reply)
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/18 @ 10:08 AM — (Reply)
Comment by Barry G.— 2006/06/18 @ 10:12 AM — (Reply)
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/18 @ 10:16 AM — (Reply)
EB,
What a beautiful family! And quite the beautiful essay as well.
May your Father's Day be a blessed one.
Comment by Always On Watch— 2006/06/18 @ 10:32 AM — (Reply)
EB- Very good looking family, unconditional love is never deserved or earned, it's a gift from the Ultimate Father!
Happy Father's Day and G*D bless!
tmw
Comment by the merry widow— 2006/06/18 @ 10:42 AM — (Reply)
beautiful - the words and the photo and thanks to you for sharing your family.
this morning at breakfast we all told my husband "happy father's day" to which he replied, "every day is father's day with a family like you!" how sweet is that?
as the day went on and we gushed over how wonderful he is, he said, "but i didn't get you guys anything..."
you're a good man, elbro and you must be doing everything right, even the mistakes.
Comment by nanc— 2006/06/18 @ 12:46 PM — (Reply)
You're a lucky man Elbro.
Comment by — 2006/06/18 @ 01:26 PM — (Reply)
i almost forgot to say "happy father's day" to you!
also, just noticed your klown watch - imagine boogers flying out my nose!
Comment by nanc— 2006/06/18 @ 02:03 PM — (Reply)
Tmw - and God shows me that unconditional love with the four beautiful people in that picture.
Nanc - that's funny I say the same thing about Valentine's Day...Every day is Valentine's Day...
the Klown Watch will get bigger you wait and see, as far as boogers coming out your nose...please I just ate
ML - They are great and thanks.
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/18 @ 02:22 PM — (Reply)
i took your advice - we had chinese buffet for father's day lunch.
Comment by nanc— 2006/06/18 @ 03:04 PM — (Reply)
i keep forgetting to ask - which one is your wife - the three ladies ALL look so young!
Comment by nanc— 2006/06/18 @ 03:06 PM — (Reply)
nanc - oh plz she already has a big head (far end)
kung pao!
Comment by elmers brother— 2006/06/18 @ 03:36 PM — (Reply)
i was being serious - they're all lovely!
hot and sour soup!
potstickers with hot oil!
Comment by nanc— 2006/06/18 @ 05:22 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/18 @ 06:13 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Susan— 2006/06/18 @ 06:18 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/18 @ 06:13 PM — (Reply)
Yes had a great day. Spent time with the kiddos, went to church. I fixed lunch for them. My two daughters wrote me some awesome letters and my son gave me a very witty card. Couldn't have been better.
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/18 @ 06:23 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Susan— 2006/06/18 @ 06:28 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/18 @ 06:32 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Susan— 2006/06/18 @ 06:35 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/18 @ 06:37 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Susan— 2006/06/18 @ 06:45 PM — (Reply)
don't get me wrong I love having a trophy wife
Comment by elmers brother — 2006/06/18 @ 07:00 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Susan— 2006/06/18 @ 07:03 PM — (Reply)
EB- The first time we went to dinner after our son was born(he was 3 months) the waitress asked if we enjoyed spending time with our grandson! She was looking at Ben at the time! I nearly slid under the table in shock, of course Ben turned 44 on our honeymoon! So the waittress had an excuse for him, guess she hadn't looked at me yet!
One time Dad and I went shopping while Mom was at a doctors appointment, we were asked how long we had been married, with Dad you ran with stuff like that. We had the salesgirl totally confused by the time we left, laughed ourselves silly!
Good morning and G*D bless all!
tmw
Comment by the merry widow— 2006/06/19 @ 12:52 AM — (Reply)
yeah, well my husband has a trophy wife too!
rice balls without the fishhead soup!
oh wait - that's japanese!
chou se bows (sp)!
Comment by nanc— 2006/06/19 @ 04:47 AM — (Reply)
spring rolls!
summer squashes!
Comment by elmers brother— 2006/06/19 @ 06:31 AM — (Reply)
Happy belated father's day, EB! You have a lovely wife and very beautiful children!
Comment by Brooke— 2006/06/19 @ 07:01 AM — (Reply)
From one dad of three kids to another, a belated Happy Fathers Day!
Very nice post.
EB must be doing something right, nice family my man!
Comment by Joe Gringo— 2006/06/19 @ 07:23 AM — (Reply)
ditto to you joe. l t me know when you have time for lunch.
thanks brooke
Comment by elmers brother— 2006/06/19 @ 07:50 AM — (Reply)
kidz do have a way of making us parents!
lo mein with snoo peas!
Comment by nanc— 2006/06/19 @ 09:19 AM — (Reply)
nanc - kind of funny how that works huh?
garlic chicken and egg foo yung!
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/19 @ 10:15 AM — (Reply)
that and the fact that we like the other parent really, really well...dayam that man of mine!
moo goo gai pan!
Comment by nanc— 2006/06/19 @ 10:46 AM — (Reply)
low mein and chicken fried rice
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/19 @ 11:04 AM — (Reply)
of course she is!
now, egg roll and fried wontons!
Comment by nanc— 2006/06/19 @ 11:09 AM — (Reply)
and she can cook.
pupu platter that.
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/19 @ 11:17 AM — (Reply)
wow, I'm getting hungry.
During the week is a little difficult, I'm near the Biltmore, you in the SSE valley, if you're out here, not a problem, otherwise looks like a sat/sun. I just found a nice pizza joint, "Sauce" over at Val Vista & Baseline, good eats!
Play any golf?
Comment by Joe Gringo— 2006/06/19 @ 12:32 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/19 @ 12:44 PM — (Reply)
you've got it 'bro........I'll give you a buzz manana!!!!
Comment by Joe Gringo— 2006/06/19 @ 02:23 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Angel— 2006/06/19 @ 05:09 PM — (Reply)
I used to play golf. Now, well, I can drive the buggy and open cans at the 19th? Oh, and pass great comment on your swing!
EB, you really got me. Great article mate. BIG hi to peaches. How's the fender-bender?
Comment by Gravelrash— 2006/06/20 @ 12:54 PM — (Reply)
BTW - is that a recent Grand Canyon trip? I'd like to think I spurred you on to get out of the back yard!
Comment by Gravelrash— 2006/06/20 @ 12:55 PM — (Reply)
The fender bender well....had to replace the car..total loss.
It is a recent picture, May of this year. We drove through Sedona and Flagstaff on our way to the Canyon. It was beautiful. Just didn't have long to spend there.
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/20 @ 01:00 PM — (Reply)
EB,
I've never been to the Grand Canyon. Once we had a road trip planned for that, but something happened to interfere with the trip.
So...I'm envious!
The car was a total loss?
Comment by Always On Watch— 2006/06/20 @ 01:49 PM — (Reply)
Yea second car in a little over a year. Mrs. EB and I have struggled with wanting to teach a life lesson and the practicality of not having that second vehicle for college etc. We both agree that if we are going to err it should be on the side of grace. After all this is God's example to us, one of forgiveness. It probably had something to do with the somewhat maudlin feel of this post. I am sure you understand, being a parent is the hardest thing I'll ever muddle through.
Last week was like a bad country western song. The car and the kidney stones were the good news.
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/20 @ 02:01 PM — (Reply)
It's so nice to see such a beautiful family and to hear a man so proud of what he and his wife are building, and trusting in God to keep them in the palm of his hand.
Happy belated Father's Day.........this was a joy to see.
z
Comment by zabelle— 2006/06/20 @ 04:07 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/20 @ 04:17 PM — (Reply)
Being a parent is the most blessed thing in the world. Lovely family, Elmo!
Comment by Amy Proctor— 2006/06/20 @ 06:40 PM — (Reply)
EB- It's like the Phillips, Craig and Dean song, "I want to be just like YOU, 'cause he wants to be like me!" To be a loving Father here is certainly the best lesson to a child in "What G*D is like!" Sounds like you and your lovely wife are doing that!
Good morning and G*D bless all!
tmw
Comment by the merry widow— 2006/06/21 @ 12:32 AM — (Reply)
tmw - I am familiar with the song (they are breaking up, I saw one of their last concerts late last year), but I am not fishing for compliments, I need wisdom.
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/21 @ 02:36 AM — (Reply)
Well, you certainly have picked the "right" place to go!
tmw
Comment by the merry widow— 2006/06/21 @ 04:26 AM — (Reply)
O.T. - is anybody else having problems with yahoo today?
bird's nest soup!
Comment by nanc— 2006/06/21 @ 04:49 AM — (Reply)
Nanc- Yes, yahoo mail just came up about 10 mins. ago!
mongolian beef
tmw
Comment by the merry widow— 2006/06/21 @ 06:14 AM — (Reply)
What a beautiful family EB! Almost makes me want to have my own--until I realise all those dirty diapers, clothes, food and other expenses must be done.....
Comment by Florian Guerrero— 2006/06/21 @ 12:34 PM — (Reply)
tmw nanc
lemon chicken
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/21 @ 01:28 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Barry G.— 2006/06/21 @ 01:49 PM — (Reply)
Barry,
I was just testing a contingency plan at that site you found yesterday. I'm not snubbing you!
Comment by Always On Watch— 2006/06/21 @ 02:10 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/21 @ 02:11 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Barry G.— 2006/06/21 @ 02:13 PM — (Reply)
Nice KLOWNWATCH EB! LOL! I'm still trying to figure out how many handles JB really has. Uptown has used 3 at my place so far--all of em' banned too.
Comment by FlorianGuerrero— 2006/06/21 @ 04:24 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Barry G.— 2006/06/21 @ 04:31 PM — (Reply)
Comment by Elmers Brother— 2006/06/21 @ 05:31 PM — (Reply)
now, if we could just get our hands on him before the law does...
you did the right thing!
Comment by nanc— 2006/06/22 @ 03:08 AM — (Reply)
Beautiful family, El Bro. You have every right to be proud! What is this I am hearing about molestation?
Comment by Madzionist— 2006/06/23 @ 03:09 AM — (Reply)
jb impersonated beak and expressed a desire to molest my kids, I am pursuing legal options
Comment by elmers brother— 2006/06/23 @ 04:36 AM — (Reply)
Five things my Daddy did right: 1. He gave me birth. 2. He taught me right from wrong. 3. He loved me. 4. He took me fishing with him and taught me how. 5. He taught me the piano.
Five things my father did wrong: 1. He left my mother. 2. He did not punish me when he caught me smoking, even though he threatened he would. I was ready to quit right then and there. I still smoke. 3. He didn't like me talk. He thought I was stupid, or my subjects were boring. 4. He left and did not call for 8 years. 5. He died.
I miss him so very much. I love him so much.
Thanks, and Happy Father's Day. ;)
Comment by — 2006/06/26 @ 12:59 AM — (Reply)