Lost a friend

Paratus Ad Vitem Paratus Ad Mortis

2005/2/7

@ 03:27 PM (42 months, 17 days ago)

Our friend Tim Jones went Home last week after being in a coma for 18 months. Tim was an elder at our church in Guam. We went to his funeral on Saturday. After the funeral I was feeling really sad and I was contemplating my own mortality. Tim was a great guy, someone you want to be like and trying to summarize his life in a few hours didn't seem fair. Actually it sucked and a part of me was angry. I am going to ask God about this one. All my Christian friends would probably give me a bunch of platitudes and speak a bunch of Christianeze about how Tim is with the Lord etc. Yea that's true, but it doesn't make me feel any better.

April (my wife) and I asked each other in the car on the way to the cemetery how we wanted to be remembered. (I know I am not the only one) How will I be remembered...how important is it? Even if you lived to a ripe old age, I mean maybe your grandkids might remember you. Maybe it's not important how many people, or for how long, but what about you is remembered.

Anyway I am still angry and sad. I know, I know... Tim was remembered as a great friend, beloved husband, most excellent father....wise...athletic...loved God, loved his family...had a great sense of humor etc.

Maybe I'll be lucky to be remembered as a couch potato and selfish guy who only cared about himself. Help me God to make the days count.

Rest in Peace Tim. You will be remembered and you left a great legacy.

Comment(s) »

I wish I had the answer - faced with the same decision 5 years ago - still waiting for the answer - might not ever get the answer till the end - but sometimes it may be better in the end that I don't. Been to too many funerals lately - people live - people die - sometimes people care for a short time - and then they drift away - you find people who care but don't know what to say - you look at your hands and you wonder how you will do the task or cards you been handed. You wake in the morning - you try to do all that you can - but I've learned that saying what real matters - doing only what matters is all that matters - I watch people every day throw their life away - they do things to their life thru external and internal things to their eyes makes life better or funnier - all they do is not only go down a stupid rat hole of trouble - we make choices - allot of them we know what is the right choice but we are selfish and choose what we believe will make us happy - not what is best for others - know one is other oriented. Church has just become a small little piece of the world. Selfish people looking for someone or somebody to validate their choices and continue down the same path they where going before they came to a different understanding of who God is. When I spend time with people I get to know them more. I find the real impact or legacy I can live is what is the impact that I’m having on my kids and those I come in contact with. There where people while I was growing up who took small opportunities to share their life and words with me. I talk allot of teenagers – I don’t rub their back – I talk straight – some respond and some don’t. I talk straight up about sex – drugs – love – the meaning of having a ministry with your spouse together – things that will matter in their life and determine whether their life will have meaning or will they drop off this earth and not mean a hill of beans. I find myself being a father to allot of kids. It almost seems like the fatherless just constantly pop into my home. They come in with know one caring who, why or what they are. Conversations with them bring out questions of where they are going and what are they doing with their life. I’m seeing allot of kids who are hurting and need somebody to care. Every Wednesday or Sunday I see more kids coming in by themselves and some just get dropped off. I’ve had kids live with me for awhile because they except the Lord their parents kick them out of there house – even had one kids who was close still try to commit suicide because not feeling wanted. I’m just typing and not caring about how or who may read this – take what you learned from Tim – we all learn something – take your hands and reach out and tell some kid about the impact that man had on your life and see if it will impact theirs in a positive way.

Comment by The Shoe— 2005/02/08 @ 04:45 AM — (Reply)